Monday, January 30, 2012

weekend getaway

Well, I will try to sum up a few key notes of Jimmy's weekend in hopes that he will feel good enough and be able to come on later and fill in the gaps.
They left Friday late morning after VNA (visiting nurse association) came to redo his pain med injection site. This consists of removing all of the dressing that the needle is buried under- and reinserting another subcutaneous in another spot not too far from the prior location. He has to go through this every three days.
Addy had all of the items packed that they would possibly need. They packed 2 stoma bag changes, all of his meds, clothes, pillows for his comfort & a few items for snacking and the were on their way. The car ride went surprisingly well. They were very excited that the room was big, they had a great view and as I had said in a prior blog.... a heat lamp in bathroom!!
They had to change his stoma bag almost right away. They ended up using both bags- which is very strange to have to change a bag a day- thank God they packed 2... Addy was kind of wishing she would have grabbed another. I have to give Addy her props, and I do this in person as well, she is taking good care of my boy.
Well, they did get so see some eagles... I'm hoping they saw enough!! I also hope that Jimmy will post how the engagement happened.... what a slick trick he did!! If not, Lord knows I WILL- haha AND I guess you all know where we will be headed when the time comes for the wedding cake?!?!... yep, you guessed it... OREGON DAIRY BAKERY- I know that they will do one heck of a job on the cake!!!!
Well, I have to be getting ready for work- I hope everyone reading this (and also ones that don't) have a TERRIFIC day and to stay safe!

Love and hugs to all

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Big news

Now I'm allowed to post this. Jimmy and addy

got engaged over the weekend!!


I wasn't allowed to post this until he told some people personally....


So yeah, there it is!! :)




love and hugs to all....

surprises

Well, my boy comes home today!!! I will be happy to hug him. I have surprises for him... eeeeeee... haha that is me screeching with joy!! I LOVE surprising him, well... I love surprising anyone. And someone else may have something to 'share' as well.
Well, I guess I better get to working on the other surprises!!
Love and hugs to all...

Saturday, January 28, 2012

times

let me apologize for the times of the postings- I am not sure why it is off- My computer now says 4:04pm....

(My bad, I fixed it now. - Paul)

Pretty tough



Well, Jimmy has been gone for about 28 hours now... lol

It is SOOOooo hard for me not to text him every 1/2 hour and ask what he's doing!! I'm TRYING to give them their time...haha I know that they are safe and having a good time!! He texted to let me know they were there yesterday afternoon, and then again last night to let me know how awesome the room is and how much they are enjoying the view from the room. He sent me a few pics and man that room IS BIG!! I am so happy that it is nice for them. He was stoked about having a heat lamp in the bathroom for after showers!! ....ahhhh, the simple things in life!!!


Addy just texted me to let me know that they are having a good day so far. They were up at 5am and just recently got up from a nap!! :) He needs his rest, because with everything he goes through with this cancer he is lucky to sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time.

Now Jimmy texted me to let me know that they are having an awesome time- HOLY CRAP- WHO IS IN MOMMA HEAVEN?!.... MEEEEEEEE!!!! I just feel like crying- of course, they would be happy tears!! oh wait... there they come!! screen all blurry!! :) :) :)

I hope that they get some pics together up there so that we can post them as well!! I will continue trying to update every day or two with news. Thank you for reading and following us as we continue growing stronger!!


Love to all.... Momma Dukes/Maw

Friday, January 27, 2012

Getting ready

Well, Jimmy looked great this morning- he and Addy were getting ready for their getaway when I left for work. They seem pretty stoked for this!! I'm a little nervous... But even more excited ... They will have a good time, I'm sure!! Hoping that we will have some great pictures uploaded as their weekend unfolds.
Love you guys- stay safe!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

feeling pretty good!!

Well, the Erbitux seems to be no match for my James Duane!! He's feeling pretty good.
We just had a visit from Shaunda and Julie. Now he and Addy are watching American Idol... but, while we were visiting, Addy was packing up his medicine and everything needed for a colostomy bag change. Then after American Idol they will get the rest of their items packed and put what they can in the car. Riding in comfort- they are taking my Ford Edge. It is a longer ride than we thought... so we didn't want to chance it. They will also have to do a colostomy bag change this evening so it is a fresh bag and ready to take on a long ride.
Tomorrow morning the visiting nurse will come and HOPEFULLY be quick with the subcutaneous needle change so they can get on the road!! They are both looking SOOOOooo forward to getting away!!
Will be posting some pictures of Jimmy's journey thus far soon- some pictures are not what we want to see, but I think we need to share them in order for you to get the jist of what we have been going through.
Love and hugs for now....

Ladies of Oregon Dairy











We had a GREAT visit with Cathy and her group of wonderful people. Found out that Cathy enjoys hiking, so she and Jimmy hit it off very well!! Jimmy gave her ideas of where to go to hike parts of the trail- some really nice points of interest. I wanted to post a picture of these beautiful ladies and a sample of what they do... hot fudge sundae cupcakes!!!

Ohhh mannnn... very creative works of edible art comes from their hands!!

First Erbitux treatment




Well, we are sitting here at LCC- Jimmy is sleeping, of course, because he gets benedryl through IV before they begin treatments. The reason for this is when he started with chemo treatments -they would make him have a reaction of not being able to breathe, he couldn't swallow and his jaw would lock and he couldn't speak. They would give him benedryl... well, being a mom, I'm like- WHY can't we give him the benedryl BEFORE he gets chemo. Well, they were very receptive to it and now before any treatment they pump him up with that lovely drug. He asked me if I ever had it through IV- that answer is no... but seeing what it does- HOOK ME UP BABY!! haha. They actually have to go slow- they will push some in and then pull some saline back through in order to dilute it so it doesn't make him hit a wall too quickly. When they give it to him- we look at him and say "nigh nigh" and he smiles and fades within the first 1/2 hour usually. Today it will take 3 hours - the first time they want to go slower in order to keep ahead of any reaction he may have. The future treatments of Erbitux will be 2 hours then. These will be once a week... it's in addition to his every other week of regular chemo regimen. So now, we will get even closer to these wonderful people here at LCC!! Today they were treated with whoopie pies from Oregon Dairy- red velvet with cream cheese filling and chocolate with regular filling. YUMMY- they looked sooo good. Jimmy got a 1/2 Italian sub and a pie pocket- then when we were on our way here- we were like... hey, McDonald's- we pass one!! Oh yes, and we didn't "pass" it... we stopped and grabbed some breakfast- McGriddle Please!!! oh yea!! Jimmy LOVES them. He got the bacon and I got the sausage- healthy choice??!! ehhhh...
Today is Kat's birthday- a wonderful employee here at LCC that has helped us SOOO much with getting drugs approved by insurance... and when they won't pick up the tab, she has gotten some items for free! SOOooo HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT!!! WE LOVE YOU!!
Sitting her watching Jimmy sleep..... no, I'm not a creepster- I'm a MOM!! haha
I will post to let you all know how he is doing later... I will leave you with a copy of the post he put on his Facebook....

James Faus
Long day today... Go to Oregon dairy to meet and personally thank the cake decorator for such an amazing job and donating the cake, then off to chemo treatment of erbitux? Then home in time to meet with shaunda and her momma for a very special thank you for the amazingly large donation that they had given me, people ARE good by nature, it shouldn't take cancer to realize it anymore! I'll never forget and can't wait to be able to pay all of this love forward

New Treatment

Well, today is the day he gets his first Erbitux treatment. I am hoping that it goes smoothly. PLEASE God... no side effects for Jimmy. He has a trip that he is SOOOOoooo looking forward to. They leave tomorrow morning to head to Pococnos for their eagle watching. I hope that he sees a lot of them!!
We will be leaving early to head to Oregon Dairy to give the lunch to the wonderful crew in the bakery. I am hoping to get some pics and post them later. The menu changed a little... we are taking assorted wraps, potato salad, nacho doritos, dill pickle spears and peanut brittle trifle. After all.... it ISSS National Peanut Brittle Day!! I hope they all enjoy it as much as we enjoyed their wonderful creation!!
Well, for now I suppose that is that- stop back later to check for pictures!!
Momma Dukes/Maw over and out
PS- he IS feeling better these last couple days!!! I LOVE THAT!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

not feeling well

For a couple of days Jimmy has been feeling kinda nauseous and just 'not right'. Today he was dizzy. He thought that he was getting a cold or something. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! That could be devastating!! He has to be soooo careful with germs. He needs to be wearing a mask to the stores and gloves so as NOT to touch where others have touched. It is ONE LITTLE germ that could take him down.
Addy took him to LCC for fluids. They spent 2 hours there while they accessed his port with needed fluids. He said he is feeling better now. Glad to hear that.
Addy just made some bacon bleu cheese sliders!! Of course he ate some of them on potato rolls!! wooo hooo
Tomorrow he gets blood drawn to see what his counts are for the Thursday Erbitux. (Thank God that it is covered by insurance- here we go on our path to a 24% better chance at kicking it). Praying that his counts are within good limits for the treatment. He may have to do nupegin shots to boost his white blood cells- sooo, I guess we shall see what happens. He hates those injections because they make his bones and joints hurt! :(
Thursday morning before his 3 hour treatment we will be taking lunch over to the WONDERFUL people in the bakery at Oregon Dairy for the beautiful cake that was given to us. I can't wait for them to meet Jimmy. Cathy is very excited to to see Jimmy. To see what a special person he is- it's amazing the feelings that come through from people that don't even know us!! We plan on taking a meat & cheese platter with assorted crusty rolls, macaroni salad, chips & pickles. IIII am even excited... I LOVE doing stuff for people - it's second nature to me, but they FEEL so special and it just gives me such warm feelings.
He has to feel better soon- he will be heading to the Poconos for his eagle watching weekend!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

day after

He got unhooked from his 46 hour 5FU. Now these next few days he will begin to become himself again. I am thankful for how well he does do with the chemo, I know that it could be sooo much worse, but I still don't like it!!
He goes to LCC every other week for the 5-8 hour treatment there and then gets hooked up to the 46hr continuous drip 5FU. Now they are looking to add the next step... this will take him to LCC every week. I will call into LCC tomorrow to see where we are with this drug. Whether the insurance has approved it yet or not. PLEASE God- let it happen!!
Yesterday it snowed here and Jimmy and his great friend Ryan (also known as Wookie- sorry, Ryan... haha) went out in his truck to a local state game lands. It was great to hear that he was getting out. When I got home from work his butt was dragging though. At this point he had other guests as well, his friend Jeff and his brother sat with Jimmy and Ryan and played those dang ole games... they went and picked up a special play station. They were excited- they found a system with both Nintendo AND Sega on it. :P
Now today he and Addy hang out all day. VNA came this morning and changed his dilaudid, pain med. I hope that he is having a terrific day- I hate the distance there is between us since I started back to work. I used to be right there each day, each appointment, each procedure, etc, etc... now with being back to work I feel I am out of the loop more than I wish to be. I feel like I don't see him in forever and it was only a day- but man... phew, it seems lots longer!!
I am thankful for the time I was able to spend with him in the beginning - and it's all thanks to the WONDERFUL people at Garden Spot Village, my place of employment for almost 14yrs. I ran out of paid time off in October, but because of these great people here at GSV I was able to spend that time to get Jimmy on track to better health. I will NEVER be able to thank them for their gift of time... they gave me time. By this I mean that they gave me some of their paid time off hours. Vacation time that they worked hard to accrue. WOW It's just so hard to believe that there are people out there like this when all you see in the news is hatred and such. I love them all!! AND will NEVER forget their generosity!! Also, my WONDERFUL residents here have donated money and items for the auction. We have just been blessed with sooo many people around us that care so much. It is hard for me to take help, it always has been, so can you just imagine how hard it was for me to accept all of this generosity from so many different avenues- my goodness. Fundraisers so far... it all got started off with Joe's Famous Wings and Weiners in Leola, pa... Ryan and Vicki (owners and good friends) opened on a day that they are usually closed and all profits went to Jimmy, benefit dinner with a DJ at fire hall, Theo Pizza sales, bus trip to NYC, Pizza Hut coupon, sub sale, pretzel sale, cookbook sale, 31 (pocket book) party, teddy bear sale and auction. I sure hope that I didn't forget anyone!! Coming up (in early stages) - spaghetti dinner, a concert, another pizza sale & possible golf tournament. THANK YOU ALL

Friday, January 20, 2012

chemo

These harsh treatments really knock Jimmy on his butt. It's rough for me to watch, especially after seeing him growing stronger and stronger... then the next chemo treatment comes along and I see exactly what it can do to my boy. I KNOW that this is what we have to do in order to get ahead of the disease- but it STILL doesn't make it any easier to watch. :(
I am just praying that this new drug (Erbitux) that they want to give him weekly doesn't knock him down too badly. I am sure it will take it's toll, but please God, be easy on him. For a mother to see her big strong son in this manner really cuts deep- it gets into my soul... way deep into my soul. I want nothing more than to take this disease away from him- I would most definatly take it upon myself (as would his father, Troy)- he's way too young for this. So many days/nights during these past three months since we learned that he had the cancer, I have just sat and stared at him- wanting NOTHING more than to scoop him up in my arms and make him all better like I did when he was a little boy.
I lived in silence here at the house- just waiting to hear him come out of his bedroom, waiting to hear ANY sound downstairs. It's something that I didn't think about until I talked to someone about it the other day... weird, how you just DO what has to be DONE.
We WILL do this... we WILL strive forward... we WILL be here for ANYONE else that needs us and anything we can do to help.
I will NEVER forget what Jimmy said to me when we were on our way home from Hershey after he learned that they were giving up on him. Imagine hearing this and then trying to hold it all together while driving your son home... it was the HARDEST thing I have ever done... I was filled with SO MANY emotions- I was mad, mad that it happened to us. I was sad, sad that he had to go through this. I was hurt, hurt that God would do this to such a great kid. He has had a job since he was 14 years old- was a good kid (minus dumb stuff that he learned from), and THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO GOOD PEOPLE>??!! REEEEEAAAALLLYYYYYyyyyyyyyy?!?!?! He saw that I was struggling, I kept trying to swallow the tears- it was so hard- I knew he didn't need to see that... he needed someone that was going to stand strong... and THAT WAS GONNA BE ME!!! He said to me "Something good will come of this". "Something good will come of this....??? holy shit, really? I mean, how can someone that has just been handed a death sentence feel this way??!! Well, I was no longer able to hold the tears back and then got mad because I couldn't.. so I got angry. He then said to me "you can't be mad". OH YES I CAN!! OH YES I CAN!! Can you just imagine?!
I must apologize for this blog being all over the place- I just remembered things as I kept typing. I am sure that everyone will understand!
Well, it's soon time for Jimmy to have his 2 injections and his round of pills. Thank you for reading!! We will do better at trying to post more often.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Angels

One HAS to know that there are angels EVERYWHERE!! Ones that watch from above and ones that are right here and walking the Earth. One of these angels showed up on our doorstep this evening. She is the mother of one of Jimmy's childhood friends, Shaunda Yarnell. Shaunda and her mother, Julie Bennett, stopped by this evening and gave us a wonderful gift of $2000.00 for Jimmy's continuing journey toward being healthy & cancer-free!! Seems that Shaunda has been sharing Jimmy's story with her mom. Julie and her husband, Bill Bennett- whom owns Wild Bills Welding Fabrication thought enough of us to personally have the check delivered to our home. I just found out that Patrick, my significant other, (I hate the word boyfriend at this point of my life- WEIRD) uses this company quite often from his place of employment. Weird how small the world is AND just how many angels are all around us!! I am just sorry that Julie didn't get to meet Jimmy yet as he was knocked out with his chemo treatment today. They are planning a return visit next Thursday to meet Jimmy and speak with him in person. I look forward to that! Thank you to EVERYONE for EVERY-THING that you have done and continue to do no matter how small YOU think it may be... it is HUGE to us!! We can NEVER be able to thank each and every one of you personally NOR enough for all that has been coming our way, but we can sure try....
THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello all... Momma again, or Maw as Jimmy calls me. On Tuesday we went to LGH (Lancaster General Hospital) for a CT needle guided biopsy of his colon. He wasn't able to eat from midnight on... and Man, he said it felt as if he were starving... Since he had gotten his freedom to eat ANYTHING he wants.. And boy does he take advantage of that, not eating for almost 12 hours was tough on him!! At 6'1" his lowest weight was a little over 130lbs. I hated seeing that!! This morning he weighed 162.5 before his chemo treatment. But I am getting a little ahead of myself... We were at LGH for the biopsy... He went into the procedure a half hour late- we sat in pre-op and watched these crazy people going miles underground... For various reasons- the craziest being to run a marathon... Weird... Someone actually made a track... Who does this?!?! When he went back I went up to the 5th floor to visit a friend for about 45 min. Headed back down to be close to post-op when my buzzer went off. Didn't take long once I got down to first floor. The buzzer went off and I was taken back to my boy. It took about an hour like they had predicted.When I got back to his room he was sitting up and very alert. I wouldn't have guessed he just had a procedure if I didn't know!! He said to me "I'm allowed to eat. Do you remember that cafe down by the elevators?! I saw a pepperoni hot pocket type of thing in there. Can you get that and a soda for me?" lol... Really? Haha- I figured he would need to eat crackers and such first... What the heck do I know?!ok I went for this pepperoni diddy- it ended up being a sausage & pepperoni calzone and a wild cherry Pepsi!! He devoured the whole thing!! We had to sit there in post-op for 2 hours to make sure he would be good to go and he wouldn't bleed. His orders were no lifting or driving, and just take it easy the rest of day. He also had to give up 2 shots that day- his blood thinner called lovenox, he wasn't too awfully upset about 2 less stabs that day!! He was doing well and they let us go 1hr15min early!!
We left there and made a beeline for a wonderful little place called Lyndon Diner!!! He got 2 huge blueberry pancakes, bacon, coffee & chocolate milk. Haha... He was not able to finish the food!! Lol but he gave it a good college try!! We took a TRUE BLUE fresh made eclair home with us... it just looked too good!! Jimmy had some of that the same night- he said how good it was and that I HAD to try it- OMG, he was right... it was SOoooo good- I am sure that we will be stopping there again!!!
We then took the pedal cars that he got from an auction to get an estimate on fixing them up- kinda like pimp my ride!! We are very excited to see how it turns out- he chose to do only one right now.
Today he has chemo. We are sitting here at LCC in Greenfield Corporate Center in Lancaster, Pa. He saw his wonderful oncologist, Dr. Tracy DeGreen at 8am then started chemo. Addy, if some of you don't know the name.. is his girlfriend, took the first shift- she sits with him and then I will come in and sit the remainder when she has to leave. The biopsy, we found out, was to see if he would be a candidate for another chemo med added to his regimen-the name of the med is erbitux, and he is... so now we have to struggle through getting it approved by insurance, so we couldn't do it today. It is a supposed to give us a 24% better chance at kicking this cancer in the head!! They still don't want to give the Evastin because one of the side effects is tearing of the lining of the intestine- and since the tumor is most likely attached to wall- Dr. DeGreen doesn't want to take the chance. So, I guess they will have to fight to get Erbitux for him. AND if ANYONE can do it, it will be Kat, she works here at LCC and is the BEST at getting Jimmy what he needs. She works VERY hard and we are SOOO thankful for her!! She has come through for us MANY MANY times when insurance denies us!! So, once she gets it approved, we will come here once a week to have the new one administered... the first treatment will take 3 hours because they want to go slow enough to watch for reactions. The other treatments will be 2 hours then once a week here at LCC. We really do LOVE all of the people here at LCC. One of Jimmy's comments this morning while waiting in the room for Dr. DeGreen to come in was "everyone knows everyone here by name". It is true- when you walk back the halls, they will call out your name and give you warm greetings. I can see how one would get attached to people here!!
So, we are on Chemo #7. We have 5 more to go, we hope, then surgery. We are holding our hopes high and staying positive for the end result!! Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers!! << can't say that enough!! <3 <3 <3

Monday, January 16, 2012

Birthday bash

Well I'm 27 now... Yikes, that's like officially late twenties! I need to start to grow up soon I think,.. Nah!!! Anyway Friday, my birthday, we just had the family over for a nice delicious quiet type of dinner and cake. Both dinner and cake were amazing, we had crab cake sliders, buttered noodles, macaroni salad and meatloaf, mmm mmm. Then the cake from oregon dairy was this white or yellow cake with strawberry jam and raspberry cake swirled into the other cake... AMAZING!! Then the second birthday party was great too!! Extended family made the trip down from Huntington pa and we had a lot of fun visitors of friends come over. And this nights cake was incredible too from Oregon dairy, and they freakin donated it!!!! How awesome of them to do, so we will have to do something special for them now because I know that that was an expensive cake! Besides all of that fun and entertainment I am doing fairly well as well. I'm looking forward to hopefully receiving my chemo on time this week and not waiting a full extra week again! Also I have a needle guided biopsy of my sigmoid colon to be done on Tuesday for KRAS testing, which I take it as that's just another tumor marker test, but that'll be fun to watch again I suppose. They don't put you completely out for it so you can watch what they're doing, gotta keep an eye on these peeps! And I'm selling some antiques and a really nice cedar armoire from lane furniture on Craigslist if anybody is interested. I'm trying to start up a little business that I can basically do from home to generate some income for potential immunotherapy slash maybe some sweet surgery!! And thanks again to everyone for your prayers and support and well wishes and donations!! I love all that follow this and it's my pleasure and honor to be able to share this story with all of you!

Birthday Weekend

On Friday night, we had a wonderful family dinner. David had to come late due to being called out for an emergency with his job. Don't worry, I fed them when they got here! We had meatloaf patties, mashed potatoes, buttered noodles and crab cake sliders. Jimmy was most excited about the crab cake sliders... we got this new little cooking gadget, soon to be our favorite, I think, that makes 5 sliders at a time... oh yeaaaa... you have to get one of these things people!! I think that he and Addy could live the rest of their lives with just the Foreman Grill and the slider maker!!! ok, now that I have the 'plug' in for the kitchen gadgets, on to the cake!! I had ordered 2 cakes from Oregon Dairy. Our family dinner cake was strawberry swirl with raspberry filling topped with whipped icing and decorated like no other!!! OMG!! What a beautiful job they did on this cake.... I could NOT WAIT to see what Saturday's cake would look like!!! This cake was so moist and PERFECTLY decorated... PERFECTLY!! We wound down the evening with gift giving, etc... normal birthday stuff.
Saturday morning our relatives from Huntingdon County came early to spend time with Jimmy before other guests arrived. I was busy chopping veggies and meat & cheeses for the varies trays we made. Was quite a busy time... *phew* But we got it all together in time... just in time!! lol.... for this day we had smoked salmon with crackers, vegetable platter, meat and cheese platter and a friend of the family (Pam Interdonato) brought a wonderful corned beef dish- we had plenty of food!! Welllll... time to unveil the Saturday cake.... OOOOMMMGGGG!!! It was MORE than what I had hoped for. When I went to order the cakes, I spoke with the senior decorator and explained what I wanted and I didn't care what the cost was... well, this woman and her co-workers did the MOST IMPRESSIVE cake I have ever seen!!! It was a 3D of the picture of Jimmy at the end of the trail. (Check back later to see pics of these masterpieces!!) I don't know HOW to EVER thank Oregon Dairy Bakery for such a beautiful cake... the time it took them HAD TO BE crazy!! oh... I forgot to mention... THEY DONATED IT!! WWHHHhhaaaaaaaT????? I was shocked- amazed - dumbfounded - I mean, wow... holy CRAP... really??!! Soooo... we will be making a special trip to see Cathy at Oregon Dairy. PLEASE people... if you live close enough and you want to experience a wonderful creation, as well as TASTY, give Cathy a call at Oregon Dairy!! 717-656-2856 REALLY!!
We had a great time visiting with Jimmy's family and friends- had a fire going in the fire pit (wood from Dave- Addy's dad), playing pool, watching the game and looking at old pictures of Jimmy. It was an exhausting day for Jimmy... by 6PM he was pretty much shot, but he enjoyed everyone being here. Brianna (a good friend of Jimmy's) collected MANY MANY cards from people for Jimmy to open. What a terrific person she is. It was just awesome to watch him with all of his friends throughout the day! What a great son I have raised... I guess all of those beatings DID help!! ha I remember when he came home from school once and told me that I wasn't allowed to smack him anymore, because he would call the cops. I laughed and said "Boy, go ahead, when I get out I will beat you harder!!" Last time I heard that from him. He was ALWAYS the one to push my buttons- so much more that the other 3. MAN, did this boy know how to piss me off!! LOL- he knew when he got punished he deserved it though. So, yes, Mr. Hardin.. he has always been the same and still continues to be- he's got one thick skull and is stubborn as hell- where does he get that??!!?? HHhmmmmm... I don't know!!! HAHAHA He WILL continue holding up that middle finger and he WILL beat the ass of this thing called cancer!! THAT'S MY BOY!!!! :) Love you James!!

Friday, January 13, 2012

My Boy's Birthday

Well, 27 years ago today I was giving birth to a very special son... James Duane...9lb5oz and nearly 2 ft long... and he was my easiest birth- little did I know that we would be traveling down this road together and getting closer than I ever thought possible. I have just recently gone back to work, which was VERY hard for me to do as I have spent nearly every day all day with Jimmy since September. My life for those months was JIMMY and only Jimmy. I was there with him through some VERY hard times... ones that a mother would NEVER want to go through with a child!! We have always been a close family, but WOW!!
I look back on Jimmy's childhood and I have A LOT of great memories with him. I spent a little time as a single mom raising two boys, it was scary for a moment. I made sure that my boys KNEW I loved them... I was the type of mom that would get up at whatever time of DREADFUL morning to make the cookies that one of the kids promised the teacher, but forgot to tell me the night before!! Weird, but that has happened MORE than once to me. Jimmy was a cuddler- he would sit beside me while we watched TV or while I worked on the special blanket that each child received from me, and just rub my arm or twirl my hair while David, his older brother sat on the other side just holding my arm. They always made sure to stay close while we were inside the home. I look back on this all now in awe- such a young mom- things could have been HORRIBLY different. When I see young moms that blame their kids for the way their lives are turning out, I just want to smack the shit out of them... pardon the French! I do not know where I would be had it not been for my kids, they have kept me grounded and on the straight and narrow. I love all four of my children and would go through hell and back for ANY of them. Ok, some of Jimmy's past- once while trying to put the chain back on his bike he got his finger stuck between sprocket and chain- David came running in the house screaming... we went out to see Jimmy sitting there, not crying, but just waiting for us to rescue him... Well, we had to pedal that finger the rest of the way out... he went to ER, got stitched and bandaged up, came back home and got back on that dang bike. He was out back doing the 'ramps' that they had set up earlier. Later on we got a call from the Dr. saying that Jimmy can't ride his bike for awhile because his finger was broken.... haha... oops!! He was taken back to Dr. to get a splint. That is a very prevalent memory for me. I could go on ALL day about growing up with Jimmy... but alas I have to go to work. BIG BIG BIRTHDAY WISHES TO MY BOY!!!! I LOVE YOU TO MY DEEPEST DEPTHS!!! HEART AND SOUL!!! :)

(Originally posted by Marie Crawford, obviously :-P)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Blowout-fest

Man there was 3 out of four consecutive days that I had a blowout. I am just eating so much and so often that the poop just never stops coming either! It's a good thing, but I now have an alarm set to go off every two hours throughout the night whilst I sleep, and that gets pretty old pretty quickly! Anyways as frustrating as that is for both me and addy we still are getting by happily, I was disgusted on the third one and had a lot of choice words in the middle of that particular evening. And my disgusting dog ate all of my shit out of the colostomy bag and cleaned off my shirt as well. Then got super sick about 36 hours later, if that isn't the most appalling thing that you've ever heard then I don't wanna know what is!! But it hasn't been all bad, I think that I'm gonna start to do some work for myself to feel a sense of worth and to raise some more money obviously. I've gone to several auctions of storage units and just regular old sit down auctions too, made some good purchases that I'll be selling on Craigslist and eBay and hopefully I can turn a good profit! I'm excited for the new adventure. Also I will be turning 27 on Friday! Officially late 20's... Yikes!! But I am excited for that as well and many more to come hopefully. I beat the shit out of this round of chemo and was really happy about that, the neuropathy that's supposed to get worse every time was barely present at all! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted but it's tough to find a whole lot of time to get to it most of the time, however thanks again to everyone who is following me through this crazy journey of mine and thanks for the prayers and well wishes that I am sure have been helpful along the way! I'll try to get back soon and say how the birthday stuff went!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Goodness from Jeff's momma!!

Thank you very much Clare for the delicious and perfectly made shepherds pie!! I have been looking forward to that moment for a long time!! And not to mention the salad and desert as well!! I am now in a food coma and have stuff that I must do!! Ugh I just wanna lay down and lazy up! Anyways just thought that I had to send a shout out. And thanks to Lisa and Neash for stopping by today too, always a pleasure with any of the butlers... Haha hope to see you all soon again and thanks everybody!

Hey everyone, Paul here...

Hey all, this is Paul, administrator of jbirdsjourney.com. First off I'd like to say thank you to everyone who posts entries in the guestbook, or in any other way shows their support for Jimmy through this battle. Your entries are read by many more than Jimmy and provide inspiration and hope for more people than you realize.

I have more plans yet for this site, some are small changes, some are larger, but I would like to ask the users of this site (you) for your feedback. If you see any problems with any areas of this web site, or if you have any ideas to improve it in any way, I ask that you please don't hesitate in sending me an email at kpmsites@gmail.com. Any ideas will be considered, and any input is appreciated. Also, a plurality of people are visiting jbirdsjourney.com on your iDevices (iPhone, iPad, etc...), and I have no way of testing the site on such devices (yeah, I'm an Android fan), so the feedback of the Apple kool-aid drinkers would be greatly appreciated as well.

Thank you very much everyone, and thank you for supporting Jimmy in any way possible!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Bah bah bah blowout!! Proceed with caution

Ok I've mentioned this word one other time without getting into much detail because it's just sofa king nasty that I felt I shouldn't share. But cancer isn't always just lazy days and happiness and bliss, it can sometimes be extremely ugly and downright disgusting! This morning at approximately 6:30 am I was lying in bed asleep and presumably very comfortable when all of the sudden I feel an awful feeling... Something running down across my stomach, I catch it with my shirt, I know what it is but I don't even wanna see it! But I have to. So I sit up and lift my shirt, shit everywhere!! All over my stomach, chest, shirt and pants... Great! So first order of business swear a whole lot until addy wakes up and asks what's wrong, it's really embarrassingly to say that I just shit all over myself but alas I must! She didn't pass any judgement or anything and immediately started helping me to get out of this shitty (pun intended) situation! She even had to take my shirt outside and hose it off before putting it in the washer, yeah it was that bad. So once I was down to my skivys I headed upstairs to finish cleaning and changing my colostomy bag, addy made it up there for the end of that to help out with some two people jobs on the changing front! What a helper, I always feel so badly when stuff like this happens, but she makes me feel like "what can you do?" because what can I do about it? I guess set my alarm every 3-4 hours throughout the evening to check my output, because it is not very glamorous at all!! Now you can all know this and hopefully get a feeling for some of the not so bright sides of this terribly rude disease! But no matter what we will push and stride through it all with a cool calmness to cut out the stress of our lives. As always, thank you to all of you who first of all made it through this disgusting long story of poop, and thank you all again for your positive thoughts and prayers and well wishes!! Me and my family all really do appreciate it!! And luckily for all I haven't got any pictures or smell-a-vision for this awful story!! Good night thanks again.

New years eve with GRAVY!!

Ok now that I DID DO TWO Christmas blogs (embarrassing) I guess it's time for new years eve blogging... A guy that fish and I met in hot springs north Carolina and hiked a lot with and got to know really well, gravy, from Blacksburg Virginia took a train from there to Lancaster pa!! Sounds like a fun time. He was up from the Friday before new years until new years day! We had a modest little party with a nice fire in momma's new gift, a fire pit and we all loved it. It was myself and my girlfriend, Ryan and his girlfriend Vicki (also the owners of joes famous go check them out) Jeff, gravy, sean i and Emily!! I stayed up for the ball to drop for the first time in like 3 years, so that was cool too! All in all successful time, everybody got to where they wanted to be and just enjoyed life for an evening!! Thanks again to everybody keepin up with me in my journey, praying and keeping good positive thoughts my way, talk to you all soon!!!

Christmas

Man, what a day! I had been looking forward to it for soo long and I freakin made it. I was so happy and honored to be at home for such a holiday and on top of that I saw my ENTIRE family all in one day, I was elated!! I got some really nice stuff, way more than I wanted or deserved but I was very grateful for all of the gifts! Mostly I was excited about giving gifts to all of the little kiddo's ranging from 3-10 years old and my girlfriend's and mom's gift too! I could almost feel their anticipation while they waited their turn to open next! It was such a joy to see their faces and reactions to different items that they received haha. Also I ate like I hadn't eaten in a while, ham, mashed potatoes, macaroni salad, dessert and cookies. Really unbelievably blessed to be there and for my whole family to be together for it, wonderful wonderful day. Should've posted when it was fresh in my mind but if you follow on Facebook I have been swamped in artwork that everyone seems to want from me now, I'm not an artist I just like to make art lol, get it? Probably not, but anyways thanks to everyone praying and sending good vibes this way, home three weeks and going strong!!! Will have a couple more posts soon.