Thursday, October 18, 2012

I just got home from grocery shopping- while at Giant I saw a young man about Jimmy's age, with brown hair, same build and wearing crazy shorts. As I walked slowly by this young man (trying not to allow him to see me stare at him intently) I heard him talking to his friend that accompanied him- and he had the same kindred carefree spirit that Jimmy carried. It took all I had to not run up to this young man and introduce myself and ask for one of the famous 'Jimmy hugs'. I probably would have been asked to leave the store..... maybe even ushered to the door.
 I did leave the store smiling though- feeling Jimmy's presence around me!!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Let me start by saying that I agree whole heartledly - this site, until recent, has been a great place. I am sorry that things have taken this turn- that this has spilled over.

I am VERY happy to learn/know how many people love Jimmy- it made me so proud to see the wonderful man that he turned out to be, and the people around him that showed him love was an attribute to that. Thank you to everyone for this!

I am not threatened by the show of love.... my family had been affected by a post, and as a Mom- the first instinct is to protect them, which I am sure most Moms can attest to. I know Jimmy wouldn't want us hurting any more that we already are. I am sorry if this offended anyone- I truly am.

Until you have walked in my shoes, been through what I have been through, endured what I've endured and ignored what I have had to ignore- all for the sake of my son- don't be so disappointed! (You do not have the entire story)

And Mom under attack and having to defend herself... yea, that's what Jimmy would have wanted, right?!

My heart is very heavy and I am so sad to have had to type this... I would love nothing more than for everyone to get along- for wounds to heal.

 I am trying to heal old wounds, trying to let go of old animosity... this is not helping my plight. We all really need to heal- step back and lick our wounds- allow them to scab over and close, so that we are protected once again from things that can hurt.

Monday, October 1, 2012

visit

This morning I couldn't sleep, so I turned on the TV in the bedroom to watch it a little- which is so rare it is ridiculous. Anyhow... I watched a show or two and then decided to get up and get moving. I turned off the TV and came out to let the dog out. When I came back in- the TV was on again. I went back and turned it off- not paying attention to what was on. I went back out and watered plants and let the dogs back in. I stopped and turned my head so that my ear was facing the bedroom - AGAIN, the TV was on... I joked "OK, Jimmy... I will watch it". When I went back and stood at the TV- it was an episode of Home Improvement... I got back there in time to see Tim holding his wife and comforting her- her dad just passed away and she didn't get to see him or tell him that she loved him. How strange- I finished watching it and turned it off one last time. -sad-
I had to say out loud to Jimmy "I love you too"!! I believe!!
The TV hasn't turned back on. I think Jimmy needed to let me know he loved me....
 I miss that boy- my boy, James!
Thank you for proving my point :(

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