chemo day

Chemo day came a day early this week, because when we made it last week- we were to get a bolus of magnesium & perhaps potassium on Friday because of Erbitux. He is no longer getting that Erbitux, as I had posted yesterday. PLUS, his counts are very good- what a strong boy!! So, he has from the time they unhook 5FU on Friday til March 15th free of chemo treatments. I hope this is a nice time for him to get his energy back and perhaps EAT MORE!! He woke up pretty nauseous this morning- so he didn't want to hear a thing about food. Last night his belly was rumbling all night- which he said then made it hurt, which in turn caused the nausea this morning.
We are in hour two thus far here at LCC. Since we are here on a different day (usually Thursday), we get to meet new people... nurses, patients and volunteers. It's not as packed in here today as it has been on occasion.
Today we brought a 'good' treat for our wonderful people here at LCC. Kat needed to better food to snack on- we usually bring sweets... you know, the yummy treats,(such as donuts, cookies, whoopie pies, girl scout cookies, etc)...but we felt the need to make it a 'better for them' treat today... after all, Melissa has to fit in that wedding gown!! :)
They tried not giving him the benedryl today- not sure how that came about, it was in the orders- but we fixed it and it wasn't even an issue- they were very sweet about it and just ran and got it.
After benedryl was given, Jimmy asked me what I do for 6 plus hours... Ha... well, I read, text, get on computer... AND watch him. CREEEeeeepy?! LOL- He just gave me one of his sheepish looks - anyone that knows him, knows it- head cocked down and off to side and he looked 'out the side of his face' at me with that tilted smile. Cute!! :)
Well, time to read some more.
Love and hugs to all.....

NEWS

I am so sorry to all - I went straight to work from his appointment. The news is not all bad... I teared up a bit this morning with the news. The DC (Damn Cancer) is not advancing at the rate at which it had been. The lymph nods are shrinking pretty good. To give it a number- Tracy said 50% gone. THAT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) The tumor on the colon is SIGNIFICANTLY smaller as well... this is the reasons for his RP (real poops), because it has gone down far enough to allow RP through! THAT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) The colon and such has not forgotten HOW to work. THAT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) The DC has not spread to lungs - his chest is clear - when I saw it months ago... it looked like a whole lot of grape bunches in there.
THAT"S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) The bad news... the liver has gotten 2 more lesions on it. :(
we are NOT giving up, we are regrouping and switching things up a bit. He will no longer be taking Erbitux weekly. He will switched to Folfurry as opposed to Folfox in 2 weeks. The Erbitux wasn't making a huge change and Jimmy wasn't tolerating it well. Hopefully he will now get some of his energy and appetite back. The Folfurry will then be coupled with Panatumamap (pardon the misspelling, I haven't had time to research this yet) in a month or so. This is similar to the Erbitux, along the lines of Rituxan. We will not be going for surgery as soon as we would like- but Dr. DeGreen (Tracy) is not taking that option away from us at this point.
Love and hugs to all.....

Dr. this morning

We go to talk with Tracy about what's next- We are armed with questions.

not exactly what I was hoping for

Well, Jimmy talked to Dr. today- I was hoping for FANTASTIC news.... It's not bad BAD, but ugh :(
The mass on colon is significantly smaller- but he has more lesions on liver. Didn't say anything about lymph nods I guess.
We will talk to him more on Tuesday morning about switching up the chemo regimen.
:/
I mean, it's not horrible news.... but a little less than I wanted to hear....

No news

Well, we have no news yet. Sorry, I was hoping to have something by now.
In other news, we had a GREAT DAY!! We left the health campus and went to McDonald's for lunch. Jimmy ate a cheeseburger and a few chicken poppers. The secret was, before we left the health campus, he swished with his BMX that numbed the sores in his mouth.
From McDonald's we went to Brent and Amy Hackman's to love up on Haylie. She is SOOOOoo adorable. Quite a head full of hair. We visited for about 30-45 minutes, the parents looked great too, by the way, and then we went to GSV. Visited there for a few minutes. Left there and went to Achenbach's Bakery where Jimmy got his Long John Donuts... his favorite right now! We even got a new item to try- a blueberry turnover.
We left there and stopped at Joe's Famous to see Ryan and Addy. HAD to buy some WONDERFUL wings for Patrick. Sat and spoke with them for a little while- Vickie (co-owner) came in while we were sitting and we got to see her for a few minutes. We then left there and went to pick up Zen and Damion (Jimmy's niece and nephew) for a weekend visit. By the time we got home- IIII was tired, I could only imagine how exhausted he was. I made sure to keep asking how he was and if he was ready to go... that Mom in me!! Ha
He is now getting a Reiki from Suz- MAN, he was looking forward to this!!!! She is such a wonderful person.. she brings everything to him and just ZONES HIM OUT!! :)
While I was typing this, Nancy - one of the trail angels that came to visit Jimmy, called to check on us. It was pretty cool to talk to her again. This boy is so loved... :)
Well, as soon as I hear anything - as I said - I will let you all know.
Love and hugs to all.....

THE DAY OF TRUTH

Well, it's 11:30 on the day we have CT scan. He will soon drink his second bottle of barium vanilla smoothie- I don't care what they call it, what color they make it or what they SAY it will taste like... simply put it is GROSS IN A BOTTLE. I feel so bad that he has to choke this crap down. terrible!!
At 12:30 he has a knee X-ray to see what's up with the horrible pain. Addy said that last night around midnight he had another episode of that pain. We just can't pinpoint ANY SPECIFIC thing that is making this happen. So, it will be good to have a look inside.
The CT Scan is at 1:00. Our wonderful Dr. DeGreen will be looking for the results and call us. MOST doctors would make you wait until next week. I don't know where we would be without Tracy (Dr. DeGreen)... I simply don't want to know!!! He and the entire staff at LCC have been such a Godsend to us!! We really do LOVE THEM!!
Well, thank you to everyone that is crossing everything that they can- I will post as soon as I hear something.
Love and hugs to all.....

2/23

well, he is almost done with his Erbitux for this week. These short days are kinda nice.
It is sooo beautiful outside today. I hope that he can enjoy a few minutes of it, that would be great.
Well, we go to the health campus tomorrow. He has an X-ray on his knees- because he has had MAJOR pain in them - he can't move in the morning- he has to hit his pain med pump every 20 minutes until the pain is TOLERABLE enough to get up. He needs it- JUST to even sit at the side of his bed. We were hoping that the bed would help with that pain more.
So, the knee X-ray is at 12:30 and then CT scan at 1:00- this CT will be a telltale of any changes in his disease. PLEASE GOD, LET IT BE SO!!!
He has a lot of pain in his mouth as well. It makes him NOT even WANT to try to eat. They are giving us BMX for that. He has had that in the hospital- he doesn't care for it, but if it is going to numb the mouth and maybe allow him to eat more- he will put up with it.
Soooo... keep your fingers, eyes, toes, legs- and whatever else you think you can- crossed for tomorrow.
Love and hugs to all.....

baby girl...

Jimmy holding Brent and Amy Hackman's 3 day old precious baby girl. Check out the onesie!!

Erbitux

Well, two days until the next round of Erbitux- Jimmy had the chance to skip it this week. Dr. DeGreen said that it won't hurt to skip one, he would rather not, of course, but he said he cares about how Jimmy is feeling as well. BUT, alas, my brave boy is gonna go on!! :)

a peek inside

Last night I went down to give Jimmy his last shots and meds of the evening. Before I gave him his shots I asked how his feet and hands were doing as I am touching his feet. They were not cold like they normally are, but he said that when he puts pressure on them, he has the neuropathy. Oops... I asked if I was hurting him, as I was rubbing his feet. He said "no... well... it's a good hurt". So I rubbed his feet awhile and it seemed to help. He was totally happy about it. (well, as excited as a frail young man with cancer can be)
I then gave him his meds and shots. As I stand at the side of his bed rubbing his head for what seemed a long time... all I could do was stare at him... looking at his face, neck, arms, etc... he was not-of-life looking. My boy that was once so strong and alive- was now so weak and pail.
I choked back emotion enough to get him in a restful sleep, then kissed his forehead and headed up the steps. By the time I get to the top of the steps I am in a full sobbing cry. I cried uncontrollably for over an hour- I couldn't stop- I couldn't stop.... I moved from room to room and even went outside and sat on my deck. I was lost!!!!- I wish that I had someone that had a clue of what this all felt like to talk to!!! Not just someone saying "I know what you must be going through"... truthfully, NO YOU DON'T!! Last night I could have used my "breaking room"... filled with all kinds of things I could throw and smash and stomp on and slam against walls... I needed it so badly!!! I went through so many emotions - I think I SHOULD be good for awhile. I ended up sobbing myself to sleep. Awoke this morning with big puffy eye lids and a bad disposition. I am not a rock.... I am not untouchable.... I can break.... I just hope that it doesn't happen too often- because I get pissed off at myself for it!
There you go... a peek inside...
Love and hugs to all.....

Video

Just an FYI... when video is supported on here- I have one for you all to see. It is the stoma working. It was quite cool to watch. One gets to see the inner workings of the body- that is cool any day!!

This Boy O Mine

He NEVER ceases to amaze me ... NEVER!! I came home today after work (Jimmy's future mother in law was here) and this kid had eaten- - - YAY... not much, but he ate. He is hot on blueberries right now. He had a blueberry strudel and then half of a PB&J. After Deann left, I went down to give meds to Jimmy and we started talking about this fantastic bed. He said "Take it a ride"... ha... so, I climbed in the other side and he showed me what it had- I 'kicked the tires' as they say. WOW- this bed is awesome. I know it will do his body good. He gave me the remote... (YES, I said REMOTE)... and I was looking at the different buttons. I asked "what does this do?" pointing to one of the buttons- he said "let's try er out"! And we did... oh man... it is called 'zero gravity'- OOOOooooOOOOOoooohhhhh MMMYYYyyyyy GOOOOooooosssshhh!
THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT!! We stayed in that position for quite some time... oh yea, it was very nice. Took you far away from where you were, that's for sure.
So, he was joking with me, laughing, talking about 'my day'... Addy, Deann and Jimmy will know what I'm saying- ha... it was just awesome to have that time with him THE DAY AFTER THAT HORRIBLE TREATMENT!! Such a strong boy I have... such a strong boy.
His buddy, Jeff, called to see if he wanted anything- and he said yes, apple fritter and chocolate milk!! HAAAAAaaaaaaaa... apple fritter and chocolate milk. Well, when Jeff got to the store they didn't have the apple fritter- soooo, he got a BLUEBERRY pie. OH- and he also got KFC...
LOVE IT!!
Love and hugs to all.....

Chemo day

We are about 2 hours from leaving LCC. Jimmy woke to eat McDonald's- wow, 2 times in one day, we had McGriddles this morning and plain ole cheeseburgers for lunch. Of course, he didn't eat ALL of either one of them. BUT it is great to see him eat a little when he can. Update is... we are trying a different antibiotic. He will stop the cipro and start augmentin. It is a broad range antibiotic, should do better for him. We have a CT scan to set up for next week. Let us all pray hard for that to show us he is not taking all of this chemo for nothing!!
It is very empty in here today... it's strange to see. LCC is usually packed up real good. Nice for the lovely ladies here though, I'm sure. :)
Jimmy gets a nice bed delivered today- we are hoping that this will ease the pain in his back and knees- I mean, my God, this kid spends most of his time in a bed...it SHOULD be a comfortable one!!
His bladder issue is called hemorrhagic cystitis caused by the chemo. It is basically an angry bladder... it gets very irritated and such. I hope that the antibiotic will help this as well.
After we do a 10 day routine of this, he will get set up for the root canal. At which point Dr. DeGreen will do another round of antibiotics and some meds to build up his blood in order for him to tolerate the procedure as well as possible. We would have to stop the Lovenox (blood thinner) for 24 hours before and then 24hours after. That gives him 2 days with 2 less shots a day!! YAY!!
Love and hugs to all.....

double header

:( :( :(
Today is a double header for him. He will have both Erbitux and Folfox regimen and then come home to be hooked up with 46 hour 5FU. This will put him out of commission again for days. I know that it is awesome that he is ABLE to take the chemo - that in itself is a Godsend - but, I just HATE seeing it. My heart hurts.....
I am almost certain that I will be taking some pics and doing a post or two from my chair alongside Jimmy where I will be parked for 8 hours. Good thing that some other person taught me HOW to sit and be patient... before him I was never able to sit, and had little patience. :) AS IF anyone could even IMAGINE that?!?! haha

On a different note- THANK YOU CLARE- you were Emily's very first call to donate desserts for the fundraiser on March 24th. This one is very special to me, not that any other was not important and special by no means, but this one is given by my boss, Emily, and my cohort, George, from Garden Spot Village. It is special because they didn't grow up with me, they didn't know Jimmy since he was 2, they are just wonderful people that work at a wonderful place and they took it upon themselves to get this put together when they have so much going on themselves!! They have also done a cookbook sale, a ThirtyOne purse party... that alot of my employees booked from to help- LOVE THEM TOO, and they also took donations, WOW, what a group of people I am VERY LUCKY to be involved with. All of my residents there are so supportive as well. I love them all!!

Well, time to shower and get Jimmy's morning meds out and ready for him. I hope that everyone has a wonderful day.

Love and hugs to all.....

Nutrition

TPN started tonight- it will run for 24hrs for the first night or so. TPN can be very hard on the liver. They want to make sure that the liver gets a rest then too... I guess that will come on Thursday when he gets chemo. that will last for 54 hours- that includes the 8 hour regimen and the 46 hour take home 5FU.
They had a pretty good day- aside from the stupid salesman at SleepEez bed store. JERK!!
Love and hugs to all.....

Day Of Lovers

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL!!!
Addy and Jimmy get to spend an entire day together. Let's pray that we have no visits to urgent care or emergency room.
Jimmy will get hooked up to TPN today to try to get his weight up since he simply doesn't want to eat. That too is a necessary evil. It really bogs him down with freedom of movement- these bags are very heavy.
Love and hugs to all.....

UPDATE

Jimmy is home again. They think he has a bladder infection and he is on an antibiotic. They did send sample away for cultures. We will see what develops.
Love and hugs to all.....

ER again...

Addy took Jimmy to LGH ER - having some issues. Blood and 'chunks' in his urine. Something that we can't let pass by. They are very busy there today... Has been there for over 2 hours and just now had first test. I will update as I know anything.

Love and hugs to all.....

Poor Kid

Yesterday Addy took Jimmy to the Urgent Dental Care. Seems our boy now needs to have a root canal.... oh man!!
In the process of verifying coverage. if not, it will be around $1500.00.
This was a quick note- sorry...
Love and hugs to all.....

THE STORY. . .

It all started back in November when Koser jewelers were set up in the hospital selling items and donating part of the proceeds to the hospital. One of my trips down to cafe I saw something shining... and like a monkey, I had to go check it out.... it was a trans or something. HA OOoooOOOOOoooo, SHIIIINNNYYYYyyy!!!!! I bought something for Patrick and I saw this very pretty ring that I thought Addy would like. I told Jimmy about it when I got back upstairs and he went down with me to check it out. Turns out- HA - I didn't remember the price of it or didn't look or something ... because that ring was over $800.00!! HAaaa... for a Christmas gift... wow!! He laughed because he was NEVER going to buy a ring for a girl, because they "get the wrong impression" and he wasn't ready for that!! So, we spoke to the ladies there and he showed them a picture of the one he was interested in... was pink hearts with diamonds. She said that she would bring it the next day, but they would be at the campus on Harrisburg Pike. Sooo... in the morning I ran over to the campus, they allowed me to take 2 rings with me that the had brought for him to look at- I took them over to LGH to show him. He didn't really like either one. Soooo... back to the campus I went. She then made a call and the company texted her a pic of a ring from their store in Mt. Joy. I went back to Jimmy and spent the remainder of the day. I have the Koser Jewelers pamphlet in hand as I wanted to be sure he got the one that he wanted for her- even though- 'he will never buy a ring for a girl'- because this is a big deal. Patrick and I RACE up to their store before they close- the pamphlet said 8pm. We get there to a locked up tight jewelry store.... my face pressed up against the glass doors... "Oh preeeetttyyyyy riiinnng, where arrrre yooouuu?" Grrrr... the door says they were closed at 6pm... WEIRD!!
I let Jimmy know and he had already been checking out rings on the Internet with his phone. he found 2 that he liked. In the morning when I was back in LGH with him, we looked at the rings- did some comparing and agreed on one. It was very pretty- she is going to FREAk when she gets this pink sapphire hearts and diamond ring!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
She LOVED the ring Christmas morning.
Now, my son has dipped his toe into the pool of "holy crap- I did it"... the boy starts looking at jewelry . . . THE REAL RING... ha. He tells me that he wants to talk to me about 'something'. I don't know if he thought I would run out of the room screaming and say NOOOoooo or what?! But, hey, if she makes him happy and gives him another reason to stick around- I am all for it!!!
Soooo... when he gets out of the hospital we go looking for THE RING, after all they are on sale this time of year. (December) We saw a BEAUTIFUL selection of rings that day- but this one ring just stood out waaayyy above and beyond any other... I said 'yep, that's the one'!! While we were there- we figured it would be best to go ahead and get the band to go with it..., it may not be there later and they were perfect together!! I put the rings in my room in a drawer where she would never see them. He was unsure when he was actually going to propose. It would be awhile maybe. Well, ya all remember that I got him the eagle watching getaway weekend for two right? He said "I think I'm going to do it on the trip"... well, duh... I kinda knew that! BUT HOW??!! I asked where he was going to hide the ring box... because he couldn't put it in the suitcase after Addy was done packing it- she would be UNpacking it and would see it. Sooo the night before they would be departing, Addy was packing up the car so she wouldn't have so much for morning. We were texting (I was upstairs) back and forth about how to do this. He decided to put it in his back pack - way low so that she would have to literally take everything out to see it. I agreed that was a good plan- he informed me when she was going out to car by a text saying "NOW NOW NOW"!!! haha... I run (yes, I ran) back the hall to my room and was nervously looking in the bag... pulled out the wrong dang one.... grrrr... closed that lid and opened the other one - (seriously Marie, what else would be in the other one?!) - anyhow... I closed it up and ran (yes, again - I ran) down the steps into his room, grabbed the backpack, and opened the one compartment he was wanting it in, and shoved that sucker way to the bottom. Gave him a smile and ran (don't know why I am still running) back up the steps. Patrick had NO idea what the heck was going on- he gave me a weird look and then I explained what just happened - (after I caught my breath- LOL)
The Story...
He had no idea when he was going to do 'this thing'. He carried the ring with him for the right time. It was Saturday night and they went out for something to eat. This sneaky boy had flowers delivered to the room while they were out. OMG- the Flowers... were...BEAUTIFUL!! WORTHY of what was about to happen in front of them!! They got back to the room and Jimmy had Addy go through the door first. By the time Addy saw the flowers and turned around Jimmy was on one knee and asked her to marry him. During which Addy kept saying in shock .. "shut up... shut up" haha Well, of course she said yes and I got a text to let me know that the "deed was done". Of course, this post is quite blurry for me from time to time!! ha... stupid woman feelings!! BLAHhhh
Ok, now you all know the story- Jimmy was so afraid that it would be embarrassing for him to put it out there- so all of you 'guy friends' you will have to answer to Momma Dukes if you tease me boy!! AND all of you that KNOW Momma Dukes, don't want to go 'rounds with me!! :P
The biggest part of this for me was when Jimmy told me that he would want NO OTHER to do this with > meaning, helping him shop for the ring... that meant sooo much to me!! OH MAN, I love that boy!!
love and hugs to all.....

F-ing Cancer

This Erbitux regimen they added is really taking my boy down! He lost the weight, as you know from prior post-
He had a reiki massage tonight from good friend Suzanne Martin... she has been such a Godsend to us. Her hands do wonders!! I'm hoping that this round will get him some appetite back. He asked me just a few minutes ago about starting the TPN. Nutrition through port again. I called doc and the one on call will be trying to get some info on getting him hooked up- apparently it is quite an ordeal and has to be ordered before 3pm in order to get it for that day. I remember that from the hospital. It IS specific to him only- it's not like they have a storage closet of the stuff lying around. SOooo I understand..... DOESN'T MEAN THAT I LIKE IT!!!! I just understand it!! Anyhow, he said that he has NO DESIRE to have any type of food - none at all!! :(
His good bud, Jeff (fish- name from trail) is here with him right now. I really enjoy that he has GREAT friends like this!! In times of need- they are here!!
Today, Addy's mom, Deann was able to help out. She came and spent the day with her son in law to be!! Thank You!! If ONLY I didn't have to work... I would not have to ever worry about who would be here- what days everyone has off.... saaad faaace... BIG SAD FACE :(((
I DO appreciate all of the help, don't get me wrong!! AND I know that these people are MORE than happy to help!! It makes everyone feel useful- because this damn cancer thing makes us all feel SO HELPLESS!!
Maybe over the weekend I will be able to put together THE STORY and let us all share in happiness and love!!
Love and hugs to all.....

2-8-12

I just wanted to share some of our night. As you see his stoma was pusing at the sides of the bag... it was HUGE!! Oh, by the way... Shelley was fine after the nurse got her a glass of ice water. I forgot to add that last night.
Jimmy is out of the hospital and is now at LCC getting treatment.

ER at LGH

Well, tonight was not what I expected.....
I got home from work around 4pm. Shelley (Jimmy's baby sister) had stayed with him today while Addy and I were at work/school. It was awesome to see Jimmy upstairs in the recliner... I ALWAYS love that- it means he is well enough and strong enough and DESIRES to get out of his room. Well, we decided that we were going shopping... we were in Pier One Imports and he doubled over in pain and said he was ready to go. I gave him the keys to go sit in the car and get off of his feet... from the time we left there until we got home, his stoma FILLED his entire dang bag!!He was in such pain that he had to MAKE himself get out of the car to make the TREK to his room. He made it to his room and sat on the bed... his pain level SHOT THROUGH THE ROOF.... he was hitting TENS with pain in his back and stoma. We tried putting ice on it to take swelling down- has been great in the past- but, no go!! He tried lying down- all he could do is groan. In about 10 minutes he was in sooo much pain he couldn't talk, sit, lay, lift arms- nothing. He asked to sit up... Shelley and I helped him to the edge of his bed by me with his shoulders and her with his legs, we swung him into place with one liquid movement and the pain was crazy!! He sat on the edge of his bed and was just sweating so badly that it was DRIPPING off of him onto his floor. We decided it was time for ER- I called LCC so they would call ahead and let them know he was on his way. With Shelley under one arm and me under the other we shimmied and scooted our way to the car- at this point Jimmy is barely with it... Shelley and I all but carried him to the car. We turned him around and got him seated- he was dry heaving so along came a barf bag. And off to LGH we went... I did run a red light or two, sorry officer, and got him there as quickly (but as gently) as possible. His pain was SO INTENSE to say the LEAST... he felt each small bump. We got there and some A$$ was sitting in front of the ER doors in his car- I had to try to get Jimmy as close as I could and then ran in for wheelchair... as I am trying to get Jimmy out the dude decides, wow- I'm in the way- I better move! AGHhhh!! Jimmy didn't have to sit long- but it SEEEEEMED like it. We went back to a room and they began all the questions- I had to answer them all because he simply could not. The ER doc came in and started touching his stoma- Jimmy said "no"... and the Dr stopped. Then we spoke about where he got this surgery done... he learned that it was Hershey and was ready to ship us there when I remembered that he had another Dr here that he saw- (Jimmy managed to murmur his name- because I was so freaked out I was drawing a blank)... it was Bacharack... and he was ON CALL!! YAY!!!!!! He got there in pretty good time as well. He looked at the stoma and grabbed ahold of it- Jimmy was BEYOND agony at this point with doc moving the stoma- Jimmy begged him to stop. The dr said... "have you ever heard 'sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns'"? Jimmy said no in hopes that he would let the dang thing go!!! Wellllll... he did NOT let it go... in fact, he grabbed it with BOTH hands and began squeezing it very hard... this caused the stoma to begin retracting, so as I was watching this, I allowed it to go on, sorry Jimmy, because I KNEW it would help... I was SEEING it with my own eyes. As the Dr was aggressively massaging the stoma- I was watching Jimmy's face and rubbing his head and holding his wrist tight -Shelley was standing at the head of his bed and she was rubbing his head as well... trying to comfort him as the Dr was putting him through hell. Well, I heard the nurse say- are you ok?... I looked at Shelley and she was ready to pass out... she sat down at the side of the bed in a chair. So, now at this point, I have Jimmy's wrist in one hand and I had my one leg and arm blocking Shelley so she wouldn't fall off of the chair onto the floor... woo... what a moment or two!! It took about 3-5 minutes (which doesn't SOUND like a long time until you are going through something like this) and this Dr had that stoma back where it belonged and Jimmy's face went from grimace to smile. It was crazy to see. The Dr asked how Jimmy felt and he said "that was amazing"... "my pain is gone"... and then Jimmy repeated "have you ever heard 'sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns'" and kinda snickered. He went from wanting to PUNCH THE DR IN THE FACE to shaking his hand and saying "THANK YOU SO MUCH!!"... The Dr and Jimmy asked if I would feel comfortable doing that if it happens again... well, why the hell not?! HAaaaaaaaaa... I told Jimmy he may swear at me once or twice while I am doing it, but I will do it!! Tomorrow I will be making a trip to a medical equipment store to buy a hernia belt type thing in hopes that it will have some positive effects!!
So, now Addy is at the hospital for an overnight stay with Jimmy. When she leaves in the morning I will go sit with him, he will be getting his next round of chemo there. Maybe Jimmy was just missing all of his friends from 8-Lime.... :) HHmmmmmm?!
I think that we were feeling a little spoiled (with him being out of hospital so long) and Jimmy had to remind us not to get too comfortable!!
Love and hugs to all....

F cancer!

Man have I had a rough last week! This new drug plus chemo really threw me for a loop. I've lost my appetite, my pain has increased by multiples and I hate mornings! Not all fun and games anymore I guess. I am just hoping my body can adapt and overcome this new drug and still be able to eat like I could just a couple of weeks ago! Anyways sorry I haven't been able to put a post up in a while, but like I said this just got to be quite uncomfortable. I can't even enjoy sitting down and drawing cause it hurts my damned back too much. Ok well enough of the whine festival for now, just letting everyone in to where I'm at right now. All of the prayers and positive thoughts and reiki being sent my way would be much appreciated and quite welcome for that matter!! Thank you to all who have been visiting for a quick read and checking up on me, hopefully I'll be back again soon!

weight loss

UGH- this boy lost 10 pounds from Thursday to yesterday. That tells you how little he has had to eat during that week. :(
He went out of the house for the first time since last Thursday. He went out to EAT with Addy, Ryan, Vicki and Tink!! it was exciting to hear- and Addy sent me a pic- it made me smile from ear to ear!!! That was a HUGE pick me up at work!! :)
Love and hugs to all.....

This round of chemo

WOW- this double-header round of chemo (his first) has REALLY REALLY knocked him down. He is usually up and running around with friends and staying out most of the day. He doesn't even have the energy to sit up, most times, for long at all. I KNOW, as I said before, that this is a necessary evil... but man!! This is all a learning curve for us. Addy and I were used to the other rounds of chemo and then he got this new regimen of Erbitux added and we are learning all over again what we are to expect. Keep the thoughts and prayers going... he needs strength to keep these new regimens. We can't wait---- 2 weeks, and we should be able to have a pet scan again!!!! I am REEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLYYYYyyyyyy excited to see the difference. It HAS to be working because he has been moving his bowels- - 'real poops' as he calls them. That means 2 things that make me very happy.... his tumor has shrunk enough that it is NOT obstructing his colon now... AND the entire system STILL REMEMBERS how to work!!!!!! WOOOOooo HOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like being happy that your 2 year old is potty trained times 2000!!!!!!!!
He has chemo again Thursday- this round is Erbitux only, so I am hoping that he gets some 'feel half normal' time in there soon... that is until the NEXT Thursday when he has the double-header again. Positive and healing thoughts!!!
Love and hugs to all.....

Chemo continues

It was VERY hard for me to walk out the door this morning without touching or seeing Jimmy. Not knowing what to expect with his first double header... UGH!! I know that he is well taken care of when Addy is there with him, but it still kills me to leave and not know how he is doing. Addy does great at keeping me updated as well... that helps to ease my struggles a bit.
This round of chemo has REALLY knocked him for a loop- he slept all day long (I was in touch with the people here with him.. Brent, a good friend of his and Shelley is baby sister) and hadn't eaten or drank anything- which is par for the course- but still sucks. Soooo I thought I would be coming home to a very very very worn out Jimmy. Now, don't get me wrong... he is VERY worn down and very weak.... I came through the door from work and went straight to him... surprisingly he was sitting at edge of bed-(holy crap number one) I didn't expect to be able to see his eyes let alone hold a conversation (holy crap number two) with him!!!! I asked if he was hungry, expecting to hear "not really"... instead he said "kinda" (holy crap number three). He said that he would eat some soup and maybe a grilled cheese. :) :) :) I unhooked him from the saline drip that VNA had hooked up 4 hours earlier, helped him to the bathroom..... then up the stairs to start supper. EEEEeeeeeeeee.... that's my excitement.... YAYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyy.... I don't think my feet even touched the steps as I ran to get started on his supper!!! haaaa... this old lady can move when she wants to!! LOL
I made us each a grilled cheese and a cup of soup- took it down with some of his meds. I sat with him and we had supper. That was nice - I REALLY enjoyed that!! It's crazy, a little thing such as watching him eat a friggin grilled cheese and half a cup of soup can make me happy.
After we finished our meal, I got his thumb (bleeds because dry and cracking) bandaged up. then on to his feet. His heels are dry and cracking too- they hurt him. I put some medicine on each foot with a bandage as well. Then I put a warming pad in each sock, because the neuropathy seems to get to his feet more than anything else. He is now tucked in for awhile.
I will have to go bother him one more time this evening to give him 2 shots and he has to take his oral meds. This boy of mine is so strong... I am so PROUD of him... SO PROUD!! He is doing well considering the poisoning of his entire body!! This is one time in my life where I would love to speed through several months for him!!
Love and hugs to all....

Chemo... a necessary evil

I hate watching what chemo does to my big strong boy. :(.... This was the first double header he had yesterday. He will now have these double headers every other week. By double header I mean he will get his regular bi-weekly chemo regimen and they have now added the Erbitux weekly, so they are BOTH given every other week. Man, it was 8 hours at LCC and then he comes home to get hooked into his 46 hour 5FU. He could barely stand yesterday after the chemo. He staggered into the house when we got here- holy crap! :(
I KNOW it is doing it's job... and I KNOW he won't live without it- but that sure as heck doesn't make it easy to watch!!!
Sadly saying,
love and hugs to all.....

the neatest thing...

I witnessed the neatest thing ever!! One of the patients here for chemo just completed her last round of treatments!! ALL of the ladies here at LCC gathered quietly in the back ground, had a certificate printed out and one (Melissa) started the march toward the patient. The song went... I don't know but I've been told.... this is some one's last chemo... we're gonna miss your smiling face.... now go out there and win that race!! In the army beat of course, as each sentence was repeated by the rest of the ladies... and bold and proud!!! Then after the song was complete- they threw confetti!!!! it was the most awesome thing- everyone else clapped and cheered- INCLUDING MWAAaa!!! It was one of those tearful happy moments. I didn't even know her, but wanted sooo much to jump up and give her a huge hug!!! Hugs and pictures and hugs and tears and hugs and pictures and hugs and well wishes and hugs... I think you get the picture!!!
:)
Love and hugs to all.....

Chemo

We are here at LCC with all of our wonderful friends. Thanks for the post, Kat- we love you too. We were threatened with country music today... NOOOOooooo... is what Jimmy and I were thinking when they asked if we would like to listen to country- seems that TODAY is country music day... we almost asked to change our appointment!! HAHA But, Melissa sang us a good country song and we were ok with that!! Great song Melissa!!

Jimmy's Erbitux is complete and now they hung the next round. We will probably be here another 5 hours at least. This room is such a big happy place- (I know, weird depiction), but you see people of ALL ages talking and laughing... you know that this is the only place they see one another yet it seems that they have been friends FOREVER! And to watch the guests sitting with the patient - the caring, the love, the worry- - - - - THE COMMITMENT!! It brings me to tears- - - it is an amazing world behind these doors here at LCC!

Jimmy is asleep- and has been since the wonderful liquid Benedryl through his port. The gentleman beside me is here for his 57th treatment. He has been battling this beast called cancer for 9 years now!! He is probably around 60 years old. He is an LCC favorite!! :)

The beeping of the IVs here is CRAZY as there are 11 patients here right now- BUT thank God we are here and not in the hospital where they have a TOUGH TIME getting to the beeping, it seems. So, thank you ladies for being on top of that beeping!!! We had quite enough of it over the past months...haha

Oh, I forgot to mention that Jimmy hit the snack area before we even got him hooked up to the chemo!! We didn't do a McDonald's stop today- he wanted a Blueberry Bagel with Cream Cheese from Dunkin Donuts... that was breakfast!! :)

Well, I want to post how Jimmy proposed, but I have to make sure he will be ok with that first- I want everyone to share in it!!!

Soon there will be pictures in an album of Jimmy in his "not-so-good" times. I think we all need to see these as well as the happy - nice ones.

Love and hugs to all...

Home alone!

Hey there everybody, been a while since I've posted! Lots of stuff has happened since last time! I went from being single and smart and happy to game over engaged... Crazy us!!! No we are both very happy about the recent changes haha. Tomorrow is chemo again, I hope, haven't heard otherwise yet so I should be ready to go! That eagle watching vacay from mom for my birthday was amazing, such a blast to get away for a minute. It feels like a "normal" thing to do and it is nice to feel normal sometimes. Now about today I am staying home alone all day without supervision!! Makes me feel like being or doing something naughty! But all I can think to do is draw or sleep or watch tv...oh well I guess I'll find something to do. VNA is here now though, time to go thanks to everybody for following and I will try to be back posting sooner this time than last time!