A sad day today...

One year ago today, while spending all but 3 days of November in the hospital with Jimmy, he had begun planning a small heart attack for me. I was with this boy all day and night- if it were not for texting he would never have had the chance to surprise me with a family get together for my birthday. Just as we had done most days- we would sit and talk, sometimes just watch tv in silence, and the days would pass us by. Around supper time on November 20th, 2011 he wanted to walk down to the cafe on the bottom floor. He KNEW that ANY time he would walk off of the floor I was ECSTATIC! So... keeping this in mind, he plotted!! He was texting his sisters and brother to get the surprise going. He wouldn't allow any other visitors that evening- he wanted just his family there. That was so special to me... this boy, my son, James Duane!! We finished downstairs and we slowly made our way back to 8-Lime, talking the whole way up to the floor. When we got to 8-Lime, he started to slow down a little and asked that I walk ahead of him (as usual, I was at his side), because people were "staring at him". I didn't think anything of it, if he was upset about something- I would just jump in and do what needed to be done to comfort him at the time. Little did I know that he wanted me to open the door first so that I got the full effect of the small heart attack. "SURPRISE" rang from the room as I opened the door. OH MY GOSH... I screamed and turned to dart out the door from shear shock and knee jerk reaction. There inside were all of my kids and their partners along with Grand kids. I was so surprised and shocked that it took me a little while to recoup and find out WHO was at the root of this. Jimmy's smirk told the story!! I love you James... I miss you so deeply. Such a big part of me is gone. You and I had a relationship like no other, we were 'the same person' I was so lucky to have had you as a son - I just wish that life was not so damn ridiculous and you would still be here to compliment who I am. I miss calling you with stupid humor that no one else would 'get'... and you to me. SOME DAY....