Sunday, December 25, 2011

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Well I made it to Christmas, which was my second huge goal from the last time I left the hospital (aside from the auction) and I am sooo happy about it!! I'm at my girlfriends parents house right now enjoying some late night pumpkin pie and loving life after a full day of excitement with giving and receiving gifts. Loved loved loved watching all of the kiddies opening gifts, their expressions and smiles said it all and it just made me feel amazing!! Had my ENTIRE family at one place today, so a big thank you to all of them to get together for me and them too, I'm sure everyone had a great time! It'd be hard not to with all of that joy and delicious food that we had all day!! By the way I have eaten like a little fatty boy today too, after like 6 weeks of not being able to eat "real" food I have finally made the leap, especially today, ham, stuffing, Mac salad, roll, noodles, Mexican pizza and some snacks as well!!!!! It's led to a lot of gas but whatever, it's worth it! I'll probably be up a couple of times this evening with having to empty my bag and next time I'll do a little better research on what leads to gas like this!! Ok thank you again to all of you who pray and thinks of me and my family and friends, and keeps good thoughts and vibes coming our way!! Merry Christmas to all of you and also a happy and healthy new year (my newest goal)!!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Getting it done!!

I have been able to run around here as of late and I have been freakin loving it and living it up!! Yesterday we did some banking and some shopping and then got to enjoy my 10 year old niece's Christmas play. That was about the most heart warming thing that I have encountered for quite some time!! I loved watching all of their hard work come together and go so smoothly, I could almost feel what it was like for them, remembering what it was like when I did them at new holland elementary school. There was a super weak standing ovation at the end which bothered me that those parents couldn't get out of their seats for one minute and clap for their kids hard work and dedication, I was in like the 30% minority of people who did it... Unreal, shame on those who couldn't do it!! Anyways... Today I was able to make it to the bank once again and get a safe deposit box that we had been wanting for some time now, and then went to momma's work to drop off cookies, a cheese tray with some super rude pepper jack cheese that'll burn your mouth for about an hour and presents to some of her co workers. By the way another big shout out to all of those at her work who have given her this time to help me out and get situated with my new life that I must learn and couldn't have done it without her help!!! And tonight my girlfriend will be coming over to stay and hang out tonight and all day tomorrow and we will have to get some more running done before the holiday hits!! So excited to see her again and spend some good quality time! Haven't been on a date in a while so maybe we can accomplish that as well☺. Until the next one, thanks to everybody who has been praying and and keeping our family and friends and myself in your thoughts and I would like to wish everybody a safe and wonderful and VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Benefit auction success

Well, I made it to the auction!! I was so excited that I was able to as well, I got to see so many people that I knew and hadn't seen in a long while, as well as meet a lot of new people. Everyone was so supportive and it truly was heart warming to be in the presence of all of that love and support! I wish I could put it into words better than I feel like I'm doing right now, but such a big thank you to Emily Craddock who put this thing together along with her amazing family, my amazing family and my girlfriends amazing family!! Not. To mention all of the friends that lent a hand to help the cause Ryan and Vicki to open their restaurant early and get people fed with breakfast and coffee to get it moving early! Just so much love and positive energy in that place all day long once again, I feel truly truly blessed to have been even the smallest part of it. And I am thankful that I was there just to be able to extend my thanks and gratitude to all of the people who made this thing such a gigantic success! We were able to raise $13,710.00!!!!! Please bring on this surgery and chemo please keep working, I'm gonna continue to fight my ass off for everybody who has helped and of course for myself and a long future! Love to all, thank you!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Landfill and TJ from mass

While hiking the AT last year we met a lot of people, and we have kept up with some of them too. It's really like an extended family out there and it's incredible how quickly you bond with good hearted people. We met landfill somewhere in Pennsylvania I believe. He was kind of a weird, say whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted type of guy, and he is hilarious. There was never a dull moment with landfill around haha.. So he's from Massachusetts and when we started to get up toward that area his mom came out to Bennington, Vermont and hooked up a delicious round of trail magic with beer and fresh sandwiches and soda and chips, the whole shibang! And then later on we met his buddy TJ when he drove to pick landfill up for a much needed break in dalton massachusetts. So we were separated for a little while and met back up later up the trail. TJ had a buddy who he had worked with named Jim who lived in Franconia, NH who helped us (like a group of 7) tremendously by slacking us through some tough sections and giving us rides and graciously accepting us into there gorgeous 5 level new Hampshire residence! We were also able to lend him a hand as well, we built him a nice drainage waterfall system at the corner of his driveway and fish and I took a trip to his neighbors house to fix up a deck seat and rail that had broken, so it felt good to give a little back too! They fed us extravagant meals and bought great micro brewed beers, so it was the least we could do!! So thank you Jim and Cathy for being awesome people. And our journey continued the whole way to the finish line with landfill. Although I made a push to get done a week ahead of them fish summited Katahdin with that group, which is awesome! Then on Friday night TJ and landfill started their drive to pa (some 385 miles) stopped at a hotel and finished the trip up on Saturday arriving around lunch time I think. We then took another bit of a drive to go and see my Amish buddy John, who wasn't home cause he was out hunting (when he should have been collecting and stacking eggs!!!), but his wife Emma was. These guys have never met a real live Amish before so it was exciting for us to get to meet Emma and have her show us around the chicken farm and answer all of our chicken farming questions. And showed us the reject eggs, one was super tiny, one had no shell, just that inner membrane and the white and yolk inside, but no shell it was so weird to feel. It was squishy and soft and shaped just like an egg but no shell.. So weird, I have a video of it that I'll try to post. Also landfill and TJ got to walk into the chicken house itself which contains 13,000 free range chickens, needless to say the odor was pretty intense! It smells like ammonia and makes your eyes water, but it may have been a once in a lifetime experience and these guys weren't about to miss out on that! Then after meeting with the Amish I took them to joes famous where landfill enjoyed an order of the extra hot wings and TJ had his very first corndog, a famous wiener and an order of mozzarella sticks, delicious!! Then a little while later we came home and had a wonderfull large meal prepared by momma dukes. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, honey garlic red skinned potatoes, asparagus and buttered noodles with some delightful mini potato rolls. Then for dessert she made some homemade no bake cheesecake with cherry topping on a graham cracker crust and homemade buttermilk brownies.. Sofa king delicious. Of course of all of that I had a tiny piece of no bake cheesecake with a little bit of cherry juice cause I can't even have a freakin cherry!! But my company enjoyed it and so did mom and Patrick and that makes me happy. Then Saturday evening we had a group of us (Sean, myself, TJ, landfill, addy and wookie) riding around in Sean's Honda pilot, listening to Christmas music and looking/ critiquing/ criticizing people's light displays lol!! That was a trip, and we were out late!! Then yesterday these guys would've slept all day long I think had I not woken landfill up at like 9:15 and told him breakfast is being made and and will be done soon! Then TJ continued sleeping for another hour or so, despite the noise of breakfast and conversation and dogs barking and his phone going off repeatedly, I think he was tired... Then yesterday fish came back over around 11:00 am and we all hung out all day. We went to Christmas tree shoppes on accident while trying to walk into bed bath and beyond to purchase some rc helicopters. The whole time we were in the Christmas tree shoppe fish and I thought we were in bed bath and beyond and the whole time landfill and TJ never said a word and knew we were in the wrong store!! Man that was embarrassing haha. So obviously this place didn't have what we were after and we went to bed bath and beyond, got what we wanted and rolled out.. Then stopped at GameStop on the way home and got some boredom tools, just in case. And finally headed back home. Tj and landfill helped get rid of some leftovers from the night before and we did a Skype with another hiker that we hiked with for a long time too, Brooklyn, so that was pretty cool. First time for everybody on that deal too I think, and TJ administered my 3:00 pm shot speaking of firsts, he was glad to give it a whirl, and he did a great job too!! Then after that it was getting near dinner time and these guys had a little over a seven hour drive home, so there was just enough time to set off bottle rockets (another first for landfill and maybe tj too) and pack back up for the journey home. All in all a jam packed weekend of fun and I loved having the company of these crazy new englanders!! And I can't wait to be able to visit them and have them show us around their home towns someday!!

Been too long

Ok sorry I haven't written in a while! This past visit to the hospital I thought was going to just be a quick in and out deal. I went in on Thursday the first of December I believe and ended up staying another 8 days. Yes I had to have the ng tube back in for some of that time, but this time it went much much smoother! The nurses there are all really great, I was able to instruct them (and I use that term loosely) on the way that's most comfortable for me to have the tube placed. During my stay I had a lot of great company which made the week go by fast, however in the back of my head I was discouraged thinking about how in the past 4 weeks I was only home for a total of less than 48 hours. Then this past Friday the 9th I had mentioned to the doctor who was rounding that I had company coming in from Massachusetts, and I thought that it'd be really nice if I could be at home to visit with them rather than in the hospital. She started to work her magic and we got the nod to go home that very same day, I was elated!! Then all of the sudden we hit a pretty decent sized snag.... The one shot that I had to take three times a day was going to end up costing like $650 a day plus the cost of buying needles, yikes! So she said hang on I'll talk with Kat over in the office to see what she can find. And this miracle worker/ angel or whatever this woman is found it, the shot, for free!! Wow! What an amazing group of doctors and office workers they have at LCC!! So now with this new news all that was left was to wait on horizon (who showed up early again) and then a visiting nurse to hook me up! This process did end up taking way too long because of the lock level on my pump because it's a narcotic they have to be really careful. Which is good to take precautions, but at the same time, LET'S GO, I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!! So we got everything squared away at the hospital, picked up any and all scripts that we needed, unpacked my hospital room into bags and we were outta there!! This time I felt much more confident with the drug regimen that I was on in the hospital and I'm not taking 15 pills a day anymore because we switched all that we could to liquid. I feel that my body can much more easily accept them this way and I have passed the 48 hour mark yesterday at 5:30pm, so I am stoked about that! If I continue how I'm doing right now there should be no reason for long hospital stays. Chemo sometimes worries me at home, it can really beat me up sometimes. This past time however, I was the one kicking its ass. I was up and walking whilst taking the chemo intravenously, that felt really nice. And I was able to avoid anything cold in my mouth or on my hands, so the side effects were much less severe than in some other cases. So I guess I'll hope for the ladder with this next round of chemo at home and put myself in the drivers seat so that I'm healthy enough to be at the benefit auction come Saturday!! And.... This round of chemo should set me up to be feeling pretty well for Christmas too!! We are going out today to get a tree and decorate it, I am F'ing pumped, mom and Pat decorated the outside of the house all day yesterday and it looks fantastic!! Again thanks to all who read and keep up and pray and help me through all of this!! I will have another blog up directly about my visit with friends from other places.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Still a bit unsure!

When I first arrived back here this time I was thinking that I'd just be here for a few days through chemo and shortly thereafter go home. Well we can't be so sure of that yet, my obstruction x rays have been showing signs of improvement but is not altogether cleared as of right now. Yesterday and last night I had taken in quite a bit of liquids and really didn't have much output, knowing something was up I put myself back on a nothing through the mouth diet (npo) until some of these drugs started to take effect since the mirolax and senna cot stool softeners weren't doing it on their own. Through the evening I did finally get some relief and a decent amount passed through which was great, except that the bag failed on me when I laid down on my back, forcing me to immediately change and resolve that issue! Talk about a rude awakening haha! The pain in my stomach is beginning to subside and I believe that I'll try some hot chocolate today just to simply get some more stool softeners in there to aid the other drugs and hopefully we can get these bowels to move!! Also I hope that it isn't too discouraging to hear that a buddy of mine got his credit card info taken from the lulu site that that great book is on for sale to benefit me! He will get all of his money back, but I'm sure that it's a pain in the ass! I still say the book is fun and adventurous and worth it!! It just takes one a-hole to ruin a good time!! So anyway here's to hoping that these pills and drugs that I'm on clear this damned obstruction as well as they did the last time and I will still have a possibility of leaving here tomorrow!!? Thank you again to all who have been traveling along side of me with well wishes and prayers and time and donations and just all of the ways you all help me to keep going!! And I will keep going as long and as hard as I can, till we are through this shit-show!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Forgot to mention

Mom and Addy have become quite proficient at administering shots too!! So I have no fear of the potential 5 a day that it could take to keep me home next time!

Caught it early

After I had finally gone home on Tuesday I was super excited/ kind of scared with the change in environments. Losing that nurse call button and all of the iv drugs at my fingertips to take care of any situation, naturally I felt nervous. But after a nice sleepy pill and mom around to calm me down and assure me that she is just a couple of steps away and my cell phone had become my new call button I soon fell asleep. After sleeping most of the way through the night I did wake up having to pee, and had to do so into a bucket, I was up at about 4:30 am and watched some Netflix until I heard mom upstairs. I asked for some pie and my first round of mirolax which she brought for me while my tpn finished up. That pie is so delicious!!!! Anyway I then made it through Wednesday pretty comfortably, although I was a little but worried because my ostomy wasn't having any output and my stomach was very rumbly and grumbly. And this kind of persisted throughout all of Wednesday where I would eat and drink but not really see the same amount coming out as was going in. Then Wednesday night my stomach really started to ache and wouldn't go away, did the tpn through the night as instructed and kept trying to eat and drink as well. Thursday morning I really wasn't feeling "right" and knew that I was becoming obstructed. So I said we have to go back to the hospital and we talked with the oncologist and got orders for x rays and a ct scan before I had even showed up! So as set up as we could be, we headed in and they did their thing in ER. I requested to have the nurses on 8 lime put my ng tube in because they had done it twice already and I know all of the nurses up here. Bad move, I had to wait FOREVER for that tube to be put in because of my request!! And that is what I knew my body NEEDED! So after a first botched attempt at placing the tube (because the tip was too frozen to make the turn towards my stomach) they had to pull it out and make a second attempt. After what felt like an hour of pure torture, gagging, tears and snot everywhere that F'er was in!! It pumped a liter out in no time at all and I felt better almost immediately. My pain level was way up for hours, to what I called an 8-9 out of ten, so to have that relief so quickly was very appreciated! The next few hours I was in and out of sleep from all of the days excitement. I went and got my x rays and ct scan and they found a small bowel obstruction that was causing my discomfort an said that we were lucky to have caught it so early. If you let it go you can easily perforate your bowel which is followed immediately by life saving surgery, so it's comforting to know that I am learning how my body works and that I can be able to say I'm becoming obstructed and we have to do something about it!! And now I am sitting in the hospital waiting for this next round of chemo to start tomorrow, two days early this time, because I am responding well to treatment. It seems every time after a treatment my situation improves pretty significantly. This time we are going to try to KEEP me home when I get home! And with any luck at all that should be maybe the middle of next week. I definitely want to be able to be at my own benefit auction to personally thank everybody who is involved in helping with it. Not to mention just to be out of the damn hospital feels good too, I'm ready to go home and stay home!!