Jimmy found a way to give momma a Christmas gift. Strange how this world works. I was at work this morning and a co-worker from another department came to my office and gave me the gift. Seems that Jimmy's 9th grade teacher, Mr. Leaman had been at GSV for some sort of gathering and gave Colleen (the co-worker) a disc of Jimmy in 9th grade along with a very warm card about how much he liked Jimmy and all that Jimmy was. The magic of the universe is amazing to me. Thank you, Mark for the gift - it was most thoughtful of you. And thank you Jimmy for continuing to be there for Momma. I love you!!

Thank You Cheryl.

Awe, Brianna- thank you for your kind words. You and Jimmy had quite a connection- that is for sure. Thanks for being such a big part of his life! I too loved seeing the man he turned out to be!! :)

Cheryl, I LOVE THAT PIC!! I know I have it somewhere- but would LOVE to see it posted. If you can't post on the guestbook side- just email it to me and I would LOVE to share it here.

Clare, Yes... those damn scrubbies were hours worth of fun!

Today the girls and I had a reading in Leola- it was pretty cool to learn of one so close. She hit on several topics that only my boy would know- it was neat to have the 3 of us there for it, but I believe that each should go alone now for a little more private moments with Jimmy. 

The first snow...

Oh my goodness- I woke up and saw the first snow of the season and felt so alive, so happy inside, smiling with my whole body, I guess one would say. It brought back so many memories of the kids. I would work night shift, never knowing what time I would be getting home. When the first snow would hit- I would go home and wake the kids... get them to a window and have them see the snow. I don't know what it is about snow, it seems to have a clean slate feel, like you can start over again, like there is something good coming. I don't know, maybe I am alone in my thinking, but I KNOW that Jimmy loved the snow as much as I did. Back to the story, sorry, the kids would get bundled up and we would go out into the first fallen snow- we made snow angels, fresh snow snowman, snowballs, forts... this would all happen sometimes at 1-2am. The kids always talked about "the time when we" and I LOVE hearing it. I wonder how Jimmy is enjoying his first snow?! I see him and Rick having a snowball battle; each hiding behind their own handmade forts!! Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Happy moments...

This is the week that all of the kids and I looked forward to- DEER SEASON!! We would be like wild animals let out of their cages- yes, even me! We would wave goodbye to dad and as soon as he was out of sight, we would blast the music and literally run around the house. We would play rough and tumble games in the house, run from room to room, play loud music- all of the things that were not done when dad was there. These are GREAT memories for the kids and I - Jimmy, as you could even imagine, was one of the wilder run loose ones in the bunch! :)
We used to play this hiding game with plastic colorful scrubbies- that was very fun. Jimmy came up with some great hiding places!!! We even had friends over during these 'free' times. Now don't get me wrong, we still loved dad- this was just mom and kids time and it was awesome!!

Clare, thank you for the kindness you and Jeff have shown me. You and many others mean so much to me too. I am just very very lucky to have such a wonderful support system- I will never be able to thank you all enough. From work people to Rick's friends and family to all of you to people met within the last year. Thank You

another holiday....

I sit and think... what am I going to make for Thanksgiving dinner this year. I don't know WHY I would even need to think... it has been the same for years, old family favorites, always!! I would have to save some boiled potatoes from the pot before mashing because that's the way Jimmy liked them. He always felt like it was special treatment-to me it was juust a mom making her kids happy- BUT I will take the "special treatment feeling", that just made it sweeter for me. Jimmy also loved brown butter noodles instead of broth noodles... his brother and I were the ones that always wanted the broth noodles!! So I would make both. Such memories.... I do smile most times, even though there may be tears in the eyes, when I remember so many things. Happy Thanksgiving Boy!! - and to all of you wonderful people that read this post- Happy Thanksgiving, may God bless each and every one of you with good health and happiness.
~Marie

Clare,
Yes, Bartman... I have just about EVERY picture drawn by that boy! My plan was to post one a day.. but that didn't happen yet. I will continue trying.

Cheryl,
Thank you, I LOVE THAT PICTURE... I was going to post that along with the post, but I didn't. That was a VERY SPECIAL night for me- everything he was going through and he thought of Mah!!  Now, he didn't give too much thought to what it would do to my old ticker... haha

A sad day today...

One year ago today, while spending all but 3 days of November in the hospital with Jimmy, he had begun planning a small heart attack for me. I was with this boy all day and night- if it were not for texting he would never have had the chance to surprise me with a family get together for my birthday. Just as we had done most days- we would sit and talk, sometimes just watch tv in silence, and the days would pass us by. Around supper time on November 20th, 2011 he wanted to walk down to the cafe on the bottom floor. He KNEW that ANY time he would walk off of the floor I was ECSTATIC! So... keeping this in mind, he plotted!! He was texting his sisters and brother to get the surprise going. He wouldn't allow any other visitors that evening- he wanted just his family there. That was so special to me... this boy, my son, James Duane!! We finished downstairs and we slowly made our way back to 8-Lime, talking the whole way up to the floor. When we got to 8-Lime, he started to slow down a little and asked that I walk ahead of him (as usual, I was at his side), because people were "staring at him". I didn't think anything of it, if he was upset about something- I would just jump in and do what needed to be done to comfort him at the time. Little did I know that he wanted me to open the door first so that I got the full effect of the small heart attack. "SURPRISE" rang from the room as I opened the door. OH MY GOSH... I screamed and turned to dart out the door from shear shock and knee jerk reaction. There inside were all of my kids and their partners along with Grand kids. I was so surprised and shocked that it took me a little while to recoup and find out WHO was at the root of this. Jimmy's smirk told the story!! I love you James... I miss you so deeply. Such a big part of me is gone. You and I had a relationship like no other, we were 'the same person' I was so lucky to have had you as a son - I just wish that life was not so damn ridiculous and you would still be here to compliment who I am. I miss calling you with stupid humor that no one else would 'get'... and you to me. SOME DAY....